Dr. Keiron Brown - - Society relationships dating fear new relationship - 2,177 views - 0 Comments - 0 Trust - 0 Reviews
Starting a relationship is a scary thing. I think many people would agree with that statement. But the one thing that is even scarier than starting a relationship is starting to start a relationship. By this, I mean taking that first step in approaching a new person. Whether the first step involves walking up to someone you don’t know and introducing yourself, sending a first IM on a dating site or in a chat room, or asking someone out for coffee or a date, initiating contact can be terrifying or intimidating. Why is initiating an interaction so frightening to so many people? The most frequent answer I’ve heard over the years is “fear of rejection.” This is a powerful reason. No one wants to be or feel rejected. No one wants to open themselves up to another person and then find out that the person to whom they have made themselves vulnerable responds with, “No,” “No, thank you,” or with any other response that is not “Yes, I’d love to.”
As intimidating a prospect as it is to open up to someone and make the first move to establish some level of connection with them, it is also the act that holds the greatest potential for eventual reward. Relationships, friendships or partnerships cannot develop if there is no first step. A building can never be constructed if there is not a foundation laid first. However, despite the logic of all that, many people still have the fear of being rejected if they make the first move. Here are some points to consider when initiating contact with someone new:
As we have seen, “No” is not necessarily a rejection, but more of a “non-acceptance” and it can occur for a variety of reasons, none of which suggest that you are not good enough, attractive enough, sexy enough, etc. It is the common fear that being turned down after taking the first step somehow “proves” that a person is somehow not worthy or attractive. It does not prove any of these things. It simply means that the other person said, “No,” if that is, indeed, the response received. A “Yes” is also a possibility. The thing is, you’ll never know until you try. As frightening as it is to make the first move, it is an absolutely necessary move if establishing a connection with someone is something you want to do. It’s definitely a risk, but it can lead to a substantial reward. So, take a chance. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose.
Interested in learning more? The following courses are recommended at Don't Date A Psycho University:
"How to Prepare for Your Best Relationship EVER!"
"Getting What You Want and Feeling Good About It"
"How to Stop Being Overly Dependent, but Still Be in Love"