It is ironic that, in this society, we are so often told that we should want certain things, that we should strive for and achieve certain goals, and, sometimes, that we should even have these things by the time that we’re a certain age.  The irony comes in when, although we’re told that we should want and have these things, we’re not really told what we’re supposed to do after we get them.  I believe that just about everything in life will eventually boil down to just two words: “Now what?”  This simple phrase embodies what we’re not taught, and is often the source of a lot of anxiety and frustration for many people.  College graduates frequently realize this soon after they complete their formal education.  They have often been encouraged, and sometimes pushed, to get a college degree, and after all that studying and effort, and after the graduation parties and congratulations have faded into memory, they have to ask themselves, “now what?”  I knew a woman whose life ambition was to be married.  This was one of the most important things in her life, because this society teaches girls that they’re supposed to be married one day, and that it should be before they’re “too old” (whenever the hell that is).  Throughout every dating relationship that she had while I knew her, she subtly, and sometimes blatantly, scrutinized every guy she was with to see if he was “husband material.”  When I asked her why she did this with every guy, she answered, “Why would I waste my time dating a guy that I wouldn’t consider marrying?”  And she said this while looking at me like I was stupid.  Anyway, after filtering through a lot of “applicants,” she finally found her guy, had a big wedding, took lots of pictures and videos, and within a year of achieving that lifelong goal, she was depressed because she hit that “now what?” wall while going at it full speed.  She was taught that she should get married, but she didn’t have a clue as to how to be married, or if she even wanted to stay married.

I’ve seen men over the years talk about finding “a good woman,” because they’d settle down if they could just find themselves “a good woman.”  With most of these guys, they ultimately screwed up their relationships somehow, because they knew they were supposed to find that woman, but a lot of them didn’t know how to appreciate her properly when they found her, didn’t know how to have a stable relationship, and after they captured that elusive “good woman,” asked themselves, “now what?” and either didn’t know how to answer the question, or realized that the answer was, “I don’t want to settle down.”  Because life, at some point, will come down to “now what?” think this through as you fantasize, romanticize, or pursue that person, that relationship, that baby, that fabulous job, that luxury car, or that big, fancy house.  The question will eventually come, whether you want it to or not.  What’s your answer going to be?